go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Randomize
