remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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