Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
