ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
