no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
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