Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
