the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I'm like, not good at living.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
