Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Randomize
