drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
