Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I believe in your delicious
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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