naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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