I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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