In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
