just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
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