Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
