so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
