...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Randomize
