would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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