Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
