My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
