it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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