So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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