Duck Duck Cougar?
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize