She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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