Porn is love you can see.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
