if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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