there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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