So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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