Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
he was CRYING into my vagina
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
