listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
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