Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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