I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
