I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Randomize
