girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I think we might need a safe word for this...
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
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