There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
