im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
