your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
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