Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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