Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
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