It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
you traded sex for a burrito?
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
