He kissed a someone with a penis
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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