marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Too much gin, very little bucket
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I just found puke in my bra..
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
