i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
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