no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
