just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
