Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
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