and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize
