apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I would fuck him just for his dog
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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