its not stalking. its research.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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