at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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