Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
FUCK WHALES
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
