So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
