dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Randomize
