I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
You need a sexual gate keeper
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
