YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
You left your phone here
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